Being: 3 Gentle Steps to Awareness

Awareness - a term that is tossed around a lot in current times. We are told that awareness is a goal of great value, but the pursuit toward awareness may be thought to be complex, painful, and seemingly unattainable. While there may be many types of awareness, I am proposing that the first step to being aware of anything or anyone is tuning into and being aware of yourself. This is not as difficult as it may sound, and when done regularly, one may foster a habitual state of awareness to self.

Three very simple steps may lead to the ability to be...to be still...and to be aware.

1) Breathe. The idea of breathing sounds intuitive, as we must breathe to be alive. However, most of us have learned to breath in a rapid and shallow manner, as we rush through the day, attending to the many tasks we are accomplishing and not so much attending to ourselves. Taking just a few minutes to take even just three breaths can make a significant difference in being present to ourselves. When we breath deeply and slowly, filling our lungs to the point where our bellies expand, we slow down enough to become aware of ourselves as living breathing beings rather than simply as agents of action and accomplishment. Just be aware of breathing in and breathing out. If you begin to think other thoughts, try to be patient with yourself and gently return your focus to your breathing.

2) Notice. As you are breathing, imagine breathing in love, light, and energy and breathing out tension and stress. Allow your forehead, jaw, shoulders, and the rest of your body and muscles to relax on the exhale. From this more relaxed state, tune into whatever you are feeling. Where is there tension, discomfort, or any type of sensation in your body? Are you aware of any type of emotions, positive (excitement, joy, contentment, etc.) or negative (nervousness, sadness, fear, etc.) in nature? Try to just be aware of these feelings, approaching them with curiosity rather than judgment. Give yourself this little bit of attention and acknowledge that you are feeling what you are feeling.

3) Accept. Often when we become aware of our feelings, our immediate response is to deny, distract, or berate. We may try to convince ourselves that we are not really feeling angry, afraid, vulnerable, or whatever uncomfortable sensation we are experiencing because that feeling is not safe or attractive. We may also want to think of something else, turn to an addiction (computer, food, drugs, etc.), get back to work, or engage in whatever behavior may distract us from the feeling we have just noticed. Perhaps most harmful, though, is our tendency to criticize ourselves for feeling undesirable feelings. When we deny, push away, or otherwise disallow our own experiences, they build force and momentum underneath the surface, often adversely affecting our behavior, personality, and relationships, as they are expressed indirectly from a place of unawareness. As we learn to sit with our feelings (both physical and emotional) and find compassion for ourselves in the midst of our discomfort, pain, anxiety, devastation, etc., we can more readily accept all aspects of ourselves and allow ourselves to be who and "where" we are. A beautiful effect of learning to be as we are is often the resulting tendency to encourage and accept others in being who they are. Gentleness flourishes.